I was talking to a friend a few days ago, who is a first time mom, and she was telling me about feeling alone. Especially if you are a first time mom and are yet to acquire mommy friends. I think before I was a mom I pictured my days spent with my babies as being filled with baby giggles, strolls to the park and cuddles in bed. Never once did it cross my mind that I might want to have a coherent conversation with another adult. I think it struck me a few weeks after brining Penni home. We lived in LA at the time and I only had 2 friends there, they both lived a ways away and were childless. I welcomed their company when they wanted to come see me, but often single people don't exactly jump at the opportunity to hang out with moms, and I don't blame them. Can't imagine we are that entertaining, I mean our topics of conversation all of a sudden are poop, breastfeeding, sleep etc. fun! kidding.
So what's a new mom to do? By the time baby is a few weeks old most of us are ready to go out in public and start to crave some social interaction. I can go to Target only so many times before it gets boring, or I go bankrupt. Whichever comes first. As a first time mom I didn't belong to any groups yet, can't really go to a play ground with a baby. Well I could have I suppose, but without a kid old enough to play it seemed like an odd move, so I didn't. I was the only one in my social circle that was a stay at home mom, and only one other friend had a baby close in age to mine. I saw her maybe once a month. So day to day was just me and Penni hanging out. It gets lonely.
I did find an online group of moms that I connected with, but that only gets you so far. Honestly I don't think I ever found a solution to the lonely issue. I'm still the only person in our social circle that's a stay at home mom. Now that Penni is older though I have started getting more involved in some groups and once I have no kids to nanny I plan to become more involved.
I guess my point is there aren't really magical solutions to the loneliness, not for me there hasn't been anyways. I love when friends are able to come visit on an average day. Most of the time though it's just me and a herd of kids. And Facebook. Sanity comes in a www…. kidding.
Be extra kind to moms, especially stay at home moms, we appreciate it. I promise!
