Sometimes being a stay at home mom gets lonely

I was talking to a friend a few days ago, who is a first time mom, and she was telling me about feeling alone. Especially if you are a first time mom and are yet to acquire mommy friends.  I think before I was a mom I pictured my days spent with my babies as being filled with baby giggles, strolls to the park and cuddles in bed.  Never once did it cross my mind that I might want to have a coherent conversation with another adult. I think it struck me a few weeks after brining Penni home.  We lived in LA at the time and I only had 2 friends there, they both lived a ways away and were childless. I welcomed their company when they wanted to come see me, but often single people don't exactly jump at the opportunity to hang out with moms, and I don't blame them.  Can't imagine we are that entertaining, I mean our topics of conversation all of a sudden are poop, breastfeeding, sleep etc. fun! kidding.
So what's a new mom to do?  By the time baby is a few weeks old most of us are ready to go out in public and start to crave some social interaction.   I can go to Target only so many times before it gets boring, or I go bankrupt. Whichever comes first. As a first time mom I didn't belong to any groups yet, can't really go to a play ground with a baby.  Well I could have I suppose, but without a kid old enough to play it seemed like an odd move, so I didn't.  I was the only one in my social circle that was a stay at home mom, and only one other friend had a baby close in age to mine. I saw her maybe once a month. So day to day was just me and Penni hanging out. It gets lonely.
I did find an online group of moms that I connected with, but that only gets you so far.  Honestly I don't think I ever found a solution to the lonely issue. I'm still the only person in our social circle that's a stay at home mom.  Now that Penni is older though I have started getting more involved in some groups and once I have no kids to nanny I plan to become more involved.
I guess my point is there aren't really magical solutions to the loneliness, not for me there hasn't been anyways.  I love when friends are able to come visit on an average day.  Most of the time though it's just me and a herd of kids. And Facebook. Sanity comes in a www….     kidding.
Be extra kind to moms, especially stay at home moms, we appreciate it. I promise!

Penni turns 5

My baby turned 5 years old yesterday, December 4th.  It's crazy how fast it goes, too fast.  Way too fast.  Not very long ago she was a newborn and we spent many days cuddling, kind of like so…

But now she is 5, wow. Thankfully she still likes to cuddle, just on her terms. This was the morning of her birthday, we let her open her presents before daddy left for work.

Later we made cupcakes and she frosted them all by herself, what a piece of art haha.

Her birthday party is on saturday and she hasn't stopped talking about it for weeks! Hopefully she has a blast.
Happy Birthday Penelope, you are a joy and a blessing, mommy and daddy and Cora love you very very much.

Busy month

November is always busy for us, it's David's birthday, then our anniversary, my dad's birthday, and of course Thanksgiving. And usually about a week after it's Penni's birthday. My baby is turning 5, wow. It's going to be emotionally charged week that's for sure.  I'm getting teary just writing about it.  It goes by so fast, too fast.  Having that perspective and experience is making me enjoy Cora's baby hood a bit more.  I of course enjoyed Penni's baby hood, but I think I should have savored it more, made more videos, taken more pictures, cuddled her more.  I can't believe she'll be 5 in a few days.  Today I went black friday shopping and bought her a bunch of new clothes because she seems to have had a recent growth spurt and we put away a bunch of small clothing.  She has long outgrown toddler sizes and now wears a S/M in children's sizes, it's crazy.
P.S. the kids are still sick, 2 months now.  So over this never ending cold or whateveritis.  Following advice from this blog and using some tips she gives for recovering from whooping cough. Not saying that's what the kids had since we never went to the doctor for an official diagnoses, but I figured either way some natural remedies can't hurt.
Gwen's Nest - natural remedies for whooping cough

Buttermilk Pancakes Recipe

Please don't use the pre made box mix! It's so easy to make them from scratch, and just as fast (maybe just a few minutes more) but well worth the effort!
What you'll need, 1 batch probably feeds 3-4 people (adults or children that eat well) I made 2 batches here and it was way too much:
2 Cups buttermilk
1 egg
1.5 Cups flour
Flax meal is optional, I add a few tablespoonfuls.
1 tsp. baking soda
1/2 tsp. salt
2-4 Tbsp sugar, adjust to your preference.
2Tbsp melted butter

Mix the egg and the buttermilk until the egg is incorporated. If you using flax seed meal add it now, and  add the sugar.

Melt the butter and stir it into the wet ingredients.
In a separate bowl mix the flour, salt and baking soda well.

Add dry ingredients to the wet and stir just enough to combine. Small lumps are perfectly fine.

Cook over medium/low heat, make sure to preheat your non-stick griddle or skillet well first. I generally don't grease it, but occasionally will put a small piece of butter on the skillet, just for the first pancake.

Enjoy with some butter and maple syrup, at least that's how we like them.

Bon Appetit!

Second time around, Breastfeeding edition.

Breastfeeding. I've always viewed it as the normal and natural way to feed a baby. My aunts breastfed, my moon breastfed my baby sister that was born when I was 18 years old. I've been around a lot of breastfeeders, and consider myself blessed to have been able to nurse both of my girls.  Well Cora is still actively nursing, actually pretty much exclusively so since solids get thrown on the floor. Penni nursed for 14 months, and then I weaned her and immediately regretted it. Planning on letting Cora wean herself when she is ready.
My breastfeeding journey with Penni was very different than it has been with Cora. Penni was a NICU baby and I pumped religiously to make sure my supply was good and well.  She wasn't eating well in the NICU so I wasn't going to push breastfeeding and prolong her stay, decided to allow bottles and once we go home we'll figure it out. We did just that, by 3 weeks old she was taking the breast whenever offered. It took me a while to wean myself off the pump, but that's a small price to pay. I hated the pump though, the time it took to pump, the annoying sounds it makes, after a while it starts to sound like it's talking to you. Drove me nuts. I was very happy when I was finally at a point where Penni was exclusively nursing and I didn't have to pump anymore. On the other hand though, the pump is gentler on ones nipples than a baby, so I think it broke me in gently and I never experienced agony or that feeling of cheese grated nipples. I weaned her at 14 months because she started biting (with teeth) and I couldn't get her to stop.  It was February when she stopped nursing and within weeks she had a cold, and then another and another. I regretted weaning at that point, my original plan was to get her through the flu season, but then she bit. I decided I'll do better next time around.
With Cora being born at home and us not being separated I expected her to latch on soon after birth and be a pro.  What really happened was, she took a while to latch on, more than 30 minutes. When she did she didn't have the greatest latch and I didn't have the heart to readjust her since it took her so long to latch on. She nursed for about 30 minutes, and when she unlatched I had a blood blister on my nipple. Well that didn't exactly get us off to a great start. It was sore every time she nursed, after a couple days the other side started to feel sore and raw as well, and that feeling progressed. By about a week I was in tears almost every time she nursed. The breaking point came around 10 days post partum and things started to get better real quick. I was very grateful for a very helpful midwife that was easy to reach during that process, she responded to my texts quickly and promptly and with good suggestions.
A few days old here

Some tips, things that helped me through the early days:
* Go topless. I think I spent the first 2 weeks topless about 80% of the time, then the father in law came to visit so I had to put a shirt on. I was pretty healed by that point though.
* Rub the milk into your nipple. Once the milk comes in it's dripping everywhere. Don't waste that liquid gold! Rub it back into your nipple, it seriously is a cure all.
* Make sure your nursing pads are always dry. For me that meant I had to change them a bazillion times a day until engorgement resolved itself, but it helped the healing process greatly. Also helps prevent thrush from developing.
* Lanolin, use it. I don't like lanolin, it's sticky and gunky and impossible to wash off (you really can't wash it off, wipe it off on a burp rag). BUT it's irreplaceable, nothing quite gets the job done as well. If you are having a pretty easy go with breastfeeding and your nipples aren't really destroyed then you can probably get away with just breast milk and coconut oil or another cream, I tried Earth Mama Angel Baby and actually really liked it once I was past the worst part.
* Try not to pump when engorged.  I was so uncomfortable and engorged, very tempted to pump. The midwife advised that I not, I did hand express some occasionally to take the edge of.  Breastfeeding is a supply and demand relationship, so the more you demand the more your body will supply. Engorgement will resolve itself, on average by 6-8 weeks. Once engorgement is resolved, your breasts will feel soft, and that's normal! You still have milk!
* Nurse on demand. Don't look at the clock, don't download tracking apps, or buy baby trackers (its been? something like that). Your baby will let you know when he/she is hungry, follow the baby's cues.  Babies don't' understand schedules or routines, all they know is that they are hungry.  If you try to force your baby onto a schedule you might be compromising your supply, your best bet is to feed the baby when the baby is hungry. Even if that means every hour.
* Nurse in public. Kind of goes along with nursing on demand. If you are buying groceries and baby is hungry, nurse your baby. If you haven't quite gotten the hang of nursing while doing something then find a spot to sit down, maybe outside on the bench, your car if that's what feels most comfortable to you. But please don't make your baby wait to eat, and please please please do NOT feed your baby in the bathroom. If you wouldn't eat in the bathroom, your baby shouldn't have to either.
Cora is quite the advocate for nursing in public

* Wear your baby! This is almost going off on a tangent, but baby wearing helps with breastfeeding. If you are out running errands and your baby is in a stroller or that infant bucket seat type it's not exactly easy to just nurse him. If your baby is already sitting comfortably on your chest in a carrier then with some practice you can quite easily figure out how to nurse your baby while on the go.  I've nursed at the play ground, Costco, Trader Joe's, Target, Farmer's Market, Pumpkin Patch, and pretty much anywhere else we might be. She is always in the carrier right next to the source.
Nursing in the carrier at a store, this is a Kinderpack carrier.

* Co-sleeping. We bed share and night feedings are easy, I just pop a boob in her mouth and usually drift off to sleep again. When she was a newborn I'd sit up in bed and feed her, otherwise she'd throw it all back up. I understand that not everyone feels comfortable bed sharing, in which case try to keep the baby right next to you. There are co-sleepers that go right up agains the side of the bed, there are bassinets that you can keep right next to your bed.  You'll be glad you don't have to walk across the room to get your crying baby in the middle of the night, I promise.  Biologically babies are not meant to sleep alone, so keep them close.
Cora has a message for those that have a problem with breastfeeding (and no I did not set this up, she did this all the time for the longest time!)

Once you get past that difficult stage it gets so easy! It'll be very worth it in the long run. Cora is now 7 months and still mostly exclusively breastfed, she's never had a bottle. At this point I think we'll just introduce a sippy cup, although I do not plan on leaving her any time soon so I think we are good with just the boobies.
She is now into gymnurstics.

Nursing on Halloween in he reindeer sweater

Sick babies are so sad

Week 4 of sick baby, can't wait for her to be all better. It's been 2 different bugs and this second one is definitely worse than the first.  But I think she is on the mend, she's been in good spirits the last few days. I don't want to jinx anything but she slept better the last 2 nights too. I'm one tired mama. She has slept horribly these last few weeks, Penni was sick for a while as well and waking up. I'm ready to sleep again, I think this cold may have cured my insomnia. What are we doing to help baby get better? Lots of nursing, lots and lots of boobie time. The kid pretty much never turns it down either, but I knew she ate too much if she pukes after haha. She never seems bothered though.  The Nosefrida has been put to work as well, although it makes her really mad when  I do that to her, so I don't' do it often. When she was very congested and coughing I diluted some Eucalyptus essential oil in coconut oil and rubbed it on her feet and covered them with sucks, and also rubbed some into her chest. She's also been sleeping on my pillow. Yes, I know you are not suppose to allow babies on pillows, but the kid can't breath when she is laying flat. She sleeps right next to me so I feel safe with her being on the pillow with me. It's just not very comfy for me because she rolls into me and I have zero personal space in bed. But I'll deal, just need her better.
P.S. she is 7 months tomorrow, where has the time gone!?

Growing trees from scratch

Well not from stretch exactly, but rather seeds. We've been saving pretty much any fruit seeds we get, stratifying them in the fridge hoping that they will germinate. So far we have 3 apricot trees and 2 pear trees going. The 4 pear trees we just planted, waiting for them to sprout.  Having a hard time getting apple or lemon seeds to germinate though. I'm dying for some persimmon seeds but so far haven't found any. If someone happens upon persimmon seeds in their fruit I'd love to have them, please. I'll even cover the shipping.

So this last batch, I let Penni plant them. She thought it was the greatest thing ever, now I just hope they'll actually grow for her. Here are our offsprings

Penni at work, doing her magic.

These are the ones I planted about 6-8 weeks ago, I hope they don't die from the cold that's moving in.

My 4 year old can plant trees! Parenting win.
P.S. Cora slept on my chest the entire time I was working on this post. Double win.

Birth memory boxes for the girls

I saw this idea on some blog when Penni was a baby so I made her a box. Being a NICU baby she had a lot of "souvenirs" and I wasn't sure what to do with them, didn't exactly want to toss them since it is part of her story.  Anyways this seemed like a neat idea so I made one for Penni

Her birth story is 

here: http://anyasmunchkin.blogspot.com/2010/05/begining.html

Naturally I had to make one for Cora too, except being a home birth we didn't have many souvenirs. Just amazing memories and some great pictures. I thought for quite a long time what I can put in her box so that it can have souvenirs like Penni's did. She didn't even wear a hat for 3 weeks so I didn't even have that to add, I considered a side snapping shirt that she lived in for the first week till the stump fell off, but the shirt was too big to fit in the box, it's only 9"x9". In the end I decided to keep Cora's box simple, just like her birth was, and yes that is her umbilical cord dehydrated, you can sort of see the true knot in it.

Her birth story is here: http://anyasmunchkin.blogspot.com/2013/05/the-homebirth-of-baby-2.html

Here are both girls' boxes side by side, I like seeing the difference in what you end up with as souvenirs after a hospital birth vs. a home birth.

Baby-led weaning progress

By the time Penni was 6 months old I was abusing this isle at Whole Foods on a regular basis.

I haven't bought anything for Cora, well maybe that's not entirely true, I did buy a squash that I had no interest in consuming but got it so I can bake it and feed it to Cora, or let Cora play with it. That's pretty much what she does with the food, she plays with it. Today we had baked potato for dinner and I gave her a chunk off of my potato and we joked that she preferred mashed potatoes because that's what she did to it. It's messy, very messy, but I'm resisting the urge to just put food in her mouth. I know that she is still getting all the necessary nutrition form breast milk so I'm not worried in the slightest. Every time she manages to get some food in her mouth she shivers, it's cute and funny. She does occasionally gag and then she'll push the food out with her tongue. Overall, so far so good. It's just a little weird that she is not so much into eating it, by her age Penni was shoveling food in her mouth. But we did start Penni off on purees and yes even cereal at 4 months of age. Know better do better. Here is miss Coraline making a mess.

Some foods don't make quite as much mess, she seemed to enjoy the cucumber

Wasn't as big a fan of the carrot, mostly I wanted to see if she'll use it as a chew toy. No such luck, it went on the floor rather quickly. Same story with celery.

I'm curious to see how this progresses, and when she'll start actually consuming food. This is actually fun for parents too.

A lesson in humility

A few days ago Penni lost her second tooth few days ago and we asked what she wanted to do trade it in for (we don't do tooth fairy) she wanted ice cream. So we planned a trip for the weekend, decided on Pink Berry. Somehow she heard some talk about hot chocolate the day before our scheduled trip and kept talking about hot chocolate and ice cream. Granted it was a rather warm day we went out for ice cream, she enjoyed it and as soon as it was gone started talking about hot chocolate again. I told her next tooth she can trade in for hot chocolate. Fast forward to Monday morning, we woke up early so had some extra time for breakfast, Cora ended up going back to sleep right before breakfast. So out of the goodness of my heart I decided to make my kid a hot chocolate, it was a chilly morning, she's been talking about it for several days, why not. So I heat the milk, prep the mugs, milk is hot and foamy so I pour it in. Turn to get something by the sink and knock over my mug, thick rich hot chocolate is now everywhere. Counter, running down the cabinets, floor. Sigh, I wanted to cry. It was only my mug I spilled, Penni's was safe, she quickly got her mug out of my way (can you blame her? haha). I put more milk in the pot to boil to make myself another cup, meanwhile I proceed to clean the spilled goodness. While cleaning I didn't realized the milk was foaming so it ran over, cue sizzling milk on the burner, the smell of burnt milk. Now I really want to cry. WTF is going on!? sigh again. I finish cleaning the counter, decide I'll deal with the burner clean up later, fix myself a new cup of hot chocolate and go to join Penni. Sit down at the table, move my bowl of cereal closer to me… and guess what! I spill the damn cereal! Seriously, what is going on here!? At this point I may have shed a few tears. So while cleaning the third mess I made in less than 5 minutes I'm feeling rather ridiculous and guilty. How many times did I get upset and probably over react because Penni spilled milk/water/juice/lunch whatever else. I mean I know kids spill and drop stuff and that's normal. but at some point sometimes it gets frustrating, and I react. Sigh, I'm sorry Penni. Definitely will try to keep my reactions in check, and just help her clean her mess that she probably already feels bad about. Mommies make messes too, sometimes a lot of them. The only difference is that no one will scold me for it.

Siblings

It's still weird to pause and think, I have 2 kids! Crazy. I don't even feel like I'm in my 30's, that is until I hang out with people in their 20's then I definitely feel like I'm in my 30's. But that's irrelevant to the fact that I have two kids! Penni finally has a sister. When I was pregnant the whole time she insisted it was a girl. We didn't find out the gender, didn't want to. But Penni really wanted a sister, or maybe she just knew, and kept telling everyone that she is going to have a baby sister. I remember one evening late in my pregnancy we were talking and she was chattering away about her baby sister and I said, what if it's a baby brother? She paused for a moment and said, but it's a baby sister! I laughed and asked her, but if it's a brother we are going to love him anyway, right? She said, no. I knew through my entire pregnancy that baby was a girl too, but of course intuition isn't 100% guaranteed, and I enjoyed the suspense of not knowing. So when Cora was born I think we were all a little glad for another girl, knowing Penni would accept her. Joking of course, sort of. Penni wasn't here for the birth, so when she came home the morning after it was pretty cute seeing her meet her baby sister for the first time. She was so gentle and her eyes sparkled. Not a hint of jealousy just pure excitement and love.
The first meeting


This was the following morning, Cora's 3rd day earth side. Penni ran to our room as soon as she woke up and wanted to hold her sister, she then rocked her gently and sang "twinkle twinkle little star" to her. I think my heart melted and there may have been tears. Nothing but love.


Cora is a week old here


One of my favorites, almost 2 weeks old


I think this was on Mother's Day


After this I decided I needed to put Cora in a carrier on Penni, so first this happened


and then this


Around 3-4 months Cora started to really notice and pay attention to Penni, watching them interact is pretty awesome and often entertaining.




Can't wait to watch their relationship grow.

Pumpkin Patch

Visited one of the local Pumpkin Patches this past weekend, Penni had a blast! She went in costume, the kid takes this dress up business very seriously.  Just in case it's isn't clear, she is a butterfly. Not a fairy, although she wants to be one now all of a sudden, but that day she was still a butterfly.

Riding in the "train", I'm pretty sure those are the same white bins that they do despicable things with on Breaking Bad haha.


Ganging up on the guinea pigs


Force feeding the chicken some straw


The token picture


Pretty sure the jumpy house was her favorite



Cora was there too, hung out in the carrier the whole time, except for this diaper change


Now I want to go to a real big middle of nowhere farm Pumpkin Patch. But maybe not this year. There is a Historic Farm near by maybe we'll visit there. Penni refused to ride the ponies while we were there but has asked to ride one several times since we got home so we might have to find some. Not for keeps, just for an overpriced 2 minute ride.